Aberration
by Saruvi
Summary: When Tsuzuki loses his memory, Muraki makes him think he and Tsuzuki are lovers, hoping to tear Hisoka and Tsuzuki apart. Will Tsuzuki realize Muraki's lie before he loses his partner's love?
1. Quarrel Plus 2 Tsuzuki Minus 2

**Disclaimer**: Yami no Matsuei and the characters Hisoka Kurosaki, Asato Tsuzuki, and other YnM characters are the property of Yoko Matsushita.

--

Tsuzuki's shoulders slumped as he stood in his and his partner's office berating himself once again for upsetting his temperamental partner. He had only wanted some cookies that Wakaba had made and brought in that morning. But Hisoka had been really irritable lately and anything Tsuzuki did seemed to upset the empath.

Whining wasn't the best thing to do in a situation like this, but Tsuzuki had wanted those cookies and so he had just pushed everything else aside and asked his partner if he could stop filling out the report he had been doodling on for the past hour if it was alright if he went to get some cookies.

Hisoka had stopped working, looked up at him and just calmly told him "no, get back to work." Tsuzuki hadn't liked that answer, and so he had turned on the waterworks as he did everytime this kind of thing happened. Usually, he only had to whine and cry a few minutes, but if that didn't work, he would turn into an inu-chibi, clutching his partner's leg and pleading. That would make Hisoka relent.

However, this time, as soon as he started the crocodile tears, Hisoka had thrown his pen down, stood up and glared down at the little inu-chibi with his hands on his hips. Tsuzuki somehow knew he was in for it but he carried on anyway, not really thinking the boy would become as angry as he had.

"Tsuzuki no baka! Dammit to hell! Can't you forgo eating for more than half an hour? Can't you just for once help me out on the damn reports? Or do you have that little consideration for me?" Hisoka had yelled, pointing a finger at him.

Tsuzuki's amethyst eyes had widened in shock at the tone and words. More so at the tone. Hisoka usually called him a baka, he never really minded it much. But the tone was what made him stop his wailing and pleading. Straightening up, he had frowned looking over the boy standing in front of him.

"Soka-chan, I'm sor..." Tsuzuki started.

"Don't call me that baka! How many times do I have to tell you I don't like being called that?!" Hisoka screamed, his green eyes suddenly went wide and he slammed his mouth shut. He looked horrified at himself.

"Tsu, wh-what..." Hisoka's eyes narrowed and he fled from their office.

Tsuzuki just stood there, watching as his partner ran from the room. He didn't know what had just happened or how to make it right. He would apologize for upsetting Hisoka, but he didn't understand why the boy had reacted the way he had.

--

"What the hell was I doing?" Hisoka mumbled as he ran into the library.

Hisoka ran down towards the back of the library, hoping to evade the Gushoshin twins. They would ask what was wrong and right now, the teen didn't know the answer. Slowing down his pace, he eased into a brisk walking pace as he reached a corner in the very back of the library.

All Tsuzuki had asked for was cookies. He had behaved in his normal way whenever Hisoka told him no. So what had happened this time? What had made Hisoka scream and yell the way he had?

_I'm so on edge lately and I don't understand why,_ he thought.

Though Hisoka told himself he didn't know understand what had him on edge, he understood perfectly what was wrong. He just hated that his behavior before was going to force him to admit what was wrong. And Hisoka hated to have to admit it.

_I'm in love with him and he sees me as a little kid who needs help all the time,_ Hisoka thought.

Hisoka hated that he'd fallen in love with his older partner. His older _male_ partner at that. He had never thought he swung that way. Actually, he'd never thought he'd swung any way. He had never really thought of sex or intimacy unless it pertained to the time he was raped when he was thirteen and he didn't count that. Who would?

Shrugging, he thought he just needed some time to cool off and gather his thoughts. Grabbing the first book he saw as he wandered around the back of the library, but as soon as he sat down on the sofa the Gushoshin had gotten for him, he thought of his partner.

"I should go apologize," he said aloud, standing up, he tossed the book on the sofa and left the library.

Hearing shouting coming from down the hallway when he approached his office, he ran in the direction it was coming from when he realized one of the voices was his partner's.

--

Tsuzuki managed to overcome his shock when his stomach growled at him, reminding him that he wanted those cookies. He was still upset by his partner's behavior but he figured Hisoka would need some time alone to calm down which left Tsuzuki with nothing to do.

Walking into the break room, his eyes widened and his jaw dropped when he saw that the last of the cookies was being swiped up by Terazuma. The former detective raised an eyebrow at Tsuzuki while shoving the cookie into his mouth, wiping off the crumbs from his shirt with a smirk on his face.

"Looks like you were too late stupid," Terazuma snickered.

"I was busy," Tsuzuki replied, trying to be civil.

"With what? Couldn't have been paperwork. We all know the kid does your share. Oh wait, maybe that's _why_ you were busy. What's the matter, the kid turn you down again?" Terazuma asked sarcastically. He never saw the fist coming his way as Tsuzuki punched him in the face.

"You bastard!" Terazuma shouted as he slammed his fist into Tsuzuki's stomach.

Tsuzuki grunted and kicked Terazuma, causing the man to slam backwards into the wall. Regaining his balance and shaking his head, Terazuma rushed Tsuzuki, growling. Pulling his head by his hair, Terazuma kneed Tsuzuki in the face, causing the man's nose to bleed and crack his bottom lip. Both healed instantly.

"You son of a bitch! You just can't keep your mouth shut can you!" Tsuzuki was shouting as he and Terazuma kept punching and kicking one another.

As they fought, the small table was knocked over, chairs were tossed at each other. Coffee mugs were thrown, even the coffee maker itself was flung. Tatsumi was walking by when he heard the shouting. His eyes bulged when he stopped in the doorway to the break room. Hisoka skidded to a halt beside the secretary, gasping in shock at the state of the room, his bloodied partner and an equally bloodied Terazuma.

Tsuzuki was about to call out one of his Shiki, causing a vein in Tatsumi's temple to throb painfully when Terazuma picked up the microwave and slammed it on the man's head. Tsuzuki swayed, lifting a hand to his head, before swaying and passing out cold on the floor.

"Tsuzuki!" Hisoka shrieked, running past Tatsumi to fall down beside his partner, cradling the man's head in his lap.

"Terazuma, pick Tsuzuki up and take him to the infirmary," Tatsumi said calmly.

"What the hell for? You know I can't stand the stupid jerk," Terazuma scoffed.

"He's not stupid and he's not a jerk you asshole," Hisoka shouted.

"Terazuma, the infirmary. Now," Tatsumi told the man, "Kurosaki-kun, go with him and let Watari know what happened. Terazuma, I'll see you in my office when you're done taking Tsuzuki to the infirmary."

Hisoka nodded as Terazuma picked his unconcious partner up, carefully not touching the teen, and stalked out of the break room muttering under his breath. Hisoka sighed, trying to hold in his tears hoping his partner was alright.


	2. Memory Loss

A/N: Sorry I'm not updating that fast. My fingers hurt and I don't know why. It took me almost all day to write 1200 words for this chapter. So bear with me. I will update Origin and start on another story soon.

--

Tsuzuki didn't wake up until later that night. Hisoka had layed on the bed by his side, holding his hand while resting his head on his partner's shoulder the entire time. Terazuma was reprimanded, his pay docked and told to clean up the break room. Something the former detective cursed under his breath about.

Moaning at the throbbing in his head, Tsuzuki tried to roll over but found he couldn't. There was something pressing him to the bed. The sheet over him was caging him in as the weight of the being next to him laid on top of it sleeping.

Turning to look, he saw the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. Or thought he'd ever seen. He really couldn't remember. In fact, he couldn't even remember where he was or who he was, for that matter.

Staring down at the golden honey colored hair, the dark lashes laying against skin as pale and smooth as ivory, Tsuzuki's breath caught in his throat.

He really didn't want to wake the boy up, but he really had to go to the men's room and besides, he was hungry and thirsty. So, struggling to roll over, he tapped the boy on the shoulder. The teen slowly opened his eyes, revealing the most amazing pair of emerald green eyes that seemed familiar to Tsuzuki, though, he couldn't place how he knew them.

"Tsuzuki! You're awake!" Hisoka exclaimed, throwing his arms around his partner. Tsuzuki tensed up at suddenly being hugged by someone he didn't know. Hisoka frowned when he felt his partner stiffen in his arms.

"What's wrong Tsu?" the boy asked.

"I'm... I don't know who you are," Tsuzuki told him.

"But I'm Hisoka. I'm your partner. You don't remember me?" Hisoka asked. Tsuzuki shook his head.

"My partner? So my name is Tsuzuki then. Um, I'm sorry Hisoka, I don't remember you," Tsuzuki said apologetically. The boy frowned and Tsuzuki felt a pang in his chest.

"It's alright. Maybe the microwave hit you harder than we thought. I'll go get Watari. He wanted to know when you woke up," Hisoka said, climbing out of the bed. Tsuzuki just sat there, nodding. He didn't know who Watari was either.

--

"He said he doesn't know you?" Watari asked as he and Hisoka walked down the hallway towards the infirmary.

"Yeah, and he only seemed to realize his name when I said it," the boy said.

"He might just be suffering some sort of amnesia," Watari said, as he pushed open the door and walked into the room.

"Hey Tsu," Hisoka said softly, walking over to his partner.

"Um hey Hisoka," Tsuzuki replied politely. Hisoka just looked down, sadness in his green eyes and Tsuzuki felt that same pang in his chest he had felt earlier.

He didn't understand why it bothered him that the boy was sad. It was like he felt a tug to the boy, but he didn't understand it. The boy seemed so familiar, and he knew they were partners since Hisoka had mentioned that earlier. Tsuzuki felt he should know the kid and felt saddened that he couldn't remember him.

"Bon tells me you don't remember him," Watari said, checking Tsuzuki's vitals.

"I'm sorry, but no I don't. I don't know who you are either," Tsuzuki replied.

Hisoka was taken aback by the politeness in his partner's voice. It was so formal that Hisoka would have thought it was someone other than his normally laid back partner. He was pretty upset that the man didn't remember him.

"I'm going to ask you some questions. Do you want bon to stay or wait outside?" Watari asked.

"I-I would like him to stay, please," Tsuzuki said, he felt comfortable with the boy around. He saw a tiny smile curve on the teen's lips and he smiled back at him.

--

"So, you're suffering from amnesia. I'm not sure how long it'll last. So I think you should just take it easy. I'll inform Tatsumi of this," the scientist told Tsuzuki half an hour later.

Tsuzuki had to be to be told he was a shinigami, that they were in Meifu. Hisoka had been his partner for the last three years. Watari was the scientist slash doctor for the Ministry. Tsuzuki felt overwhelmed especially finding out he was dead.

He felt relieved that he was right in feeling that he should know the young boy sitting on the bed next to him. Though, he felt he should know him more than a partner. Which struck him as odd since he wasn't sure he was into other men, let alone a boy who appeared to be only sixteen.

"I'm actually technically nineteen. I just died when I was sixteen so I'll always that way," Hisoka murmured, a blush on his pale cheeks.

"H-how did you know what I was thinking?" Tsuzuki asked, surprised.

"I'm empathic. I'm sorry, maybe I should have reminded you," the boy replied.

"No problem. It's ok. I guess there's a lot of things I need to be reminded of," the man answered.

"Don't worry. I'll help you," Hisoka told him, reaching for his hand.

"Are we more than partners Hisoka?" Tsuzuki suddenly asked, causing Hisoka to open and close his mouth, a blush forming on his face once again.

"We..." Hisoka started, but was interrupted by the door of the infirmary opening.

Watari poked his head in. "Hey bon, can you come with me for a moment? I need to talk to you," the blonde asked.

"Sure Watari," Hisoka answered, he was grateful for the interruption. He didn't know exactly how to answer Tsuzuki's question. Should he say no, but there's something there? Should he tell the man he was in love with him? Should he tell him about Tsuzuki's own feelings for him that he'd picked up from the man himself? What should he do, he wondered.

--

"What's up?" Hisoka asked outside the infirmary.

"Tatsumi is giving you and Tsuzuki time off. He wants you to take care of Tsuzuki. At your apartment or at his. Seeing as he can't remember anything," Watari explained.

"Alright. I'll tell Tsuzuki. Hey Watari? Can I ask you something?" Hisoka asked.

"Sure bon," the scientist said.

"Well, Tsuzuki just asked me if we were more than partners. Should I... you know tell him how we feel about each other but that we haven't admitted it or just say no we're just partners?" Hisoka asked, cursing silently to himself as he felt his cheeks redden once again.

"Tell him the truth bon. Maybe it'll make him feel more secure since he doesn't has his memory," Watari told him.

Hisoka nodded. He would just tell Tsuzuki that they had feelings for each other. He knew Tsuzuki loved him. The man told him several times a day. And the feelings of love towards him radiated off his partner so much that they nearly overpowered the empath at times.

The scientist went back to his lab after saying he was going to let Tsuzuki go home but to call him if there were any problems. Hisoka nodded again and went back into the infirmary.


	3. More Than Partners

"Watari says you can go home, but Tatsumi wants me to stay with you. Would you be more comfortable at your place or mine?" Hisoka asked as he walked back into the room.

"Uh, I really don't know," Tsuzuki replied.

He didn't think it would matter where he stayed. He probably wouldn't remember anything about either place, so he didn't really care. He did like the fact that his younger partner would be with him. Hisoka seemed to pick up on this thought as a blush spread across his face.

"We'll head to your apartment and get some of your things then we can go to my place. You're usually at my place anyway," the boy said.

"Am I? So are we more than partners then? You never answered," Tsuzuki asked.

"I'll explain when we get home alright?" Hisoka told him. Tsuzuki nodded and got out of the bed. Hisoka handed him a long black coat and he shrugged into it.

--

Tsuzuki couldn't believe how cluttered his apartment was. Somehow, he had thought he would be a much neater person than what his apartment showed him he was. There were plants everywhere, candy wrappers all over the coffee table. Tea cups, cookie tins, pastry wrappers.

"I... actually live this way?" he asked shocked.

"Uh huh. You are a sweet addict. You usually clean up at the end of the day though. Before bed, but seeing as how you've been in the infirmary all day, and you haven't really been here much lately anyway, you didn't get a chance. I can clean this up if you like," Hisoka replied.

"That's alright. I'll do it," Tsuzuki replied. He wanted to clean up because it seemed out of place to him. He wasn't sure why. He had an image in his head of a neat and orderly room and this wasn't it. Plus, he didn't know where his bedroom was.

Hisoka sensed this and walked down the hallway. He came back a little bit later as Tsuzuki was just finishing up straightening up the living room. The boy had a duffel bag in his hand..

"I packed some of your things for you. I didn't know what you wanted so I just grabbed a few necessary things. Tatsumi gave us the next few days off so I only packed you some casual clothing. If that's alright with you. All you have at my place are work clothes," the boy said.

"Sure. That's fine. Are we ready to go to your place now? I'm done cleaning up," Tsuzuki told him.

Hisoka nodded and they teleported out of Tsuzuki's living room, reappearing in Hisoka's. This room was neat and organized. It was in fact the very room that Tsuzuki's mind had showed him an image of. And he realized, he had been expecting to see Hisoka's apartment and not his own.

"This is what you expected?" Hisoka asked quietly, putting the duffel bag down on the sofa.

"Yes. I had expected that the image I saw in my head was of my own place. But it was yours. You did say I'm usually here anyway, so it makes sense," Tsuzuki answered.

"Yeah, you've been here a lot recently," Hisoka told him, looking down.

"Now can you tell me what we are?" Tsuzuki asked.

"We're partners," the boy replied.

"I know we're partners. But I get the feeling that is not all we are. Am I right?" the older male asked.

"Well, it's a bit complicated," Hisoka said. He decided to just come right out and tell the man.

_Be honest with him and yourself, _ he told himself.

"How so?" Tsuzuki asked.

"I'm in love with you, but I haven't ever told you. Same goes for you. Though you tell me you love me everyday, you haven't really come out and told me. But I feel it from you," Hisoka told him.

Tsuzuki tilted his head. His purple eyes looking into Hisoka's green gems. He stepped forward, closing the distance between them. Reaching out, he took the boy's hands into his own.

"I can believe that. I felt... that we were more than partners and friends," Tsuzuki whispered, leaning down, he brushed his lips softly against Hisoka's.

Hisoka kissed him back, pressing closer to his partner. Feeling the warmth radiating off the other male. Pulling apart, they smiled at each other.

"Why didn't you ever tell me until now?" Tsuzuki suddenly asked.

"I guess I was afraid that you would reject me," Hisoka answered.

"But you said that I felt the same way. Why would I reject you?" the man questioned.

"It's because my past I guess. Part of me knew you wouldn't turn me away, but the other part was afraid," the boy told him.

"I see, what about your past?" Tsuzuki inquired.

"I don't really wish to discuss it right now," Hisoka said, then, changing the subject, asked "Are you hungry? I can fix you something."

"Sure. I guess I could eat. Do I cook?" Tsuzuki asked.

"No! You don't cook. And please don't try," the boy said with such firmness Tsuzuki almost jumped.

"Alright," Tsuzuki replied laughing. Hisoka pulled his hands out of his partner's and headed for his kitchen.

--

"Soka! That was great! How'd you learn to cook that way?" Tsuzuki exclaimed, forcing himself to fight the urge not to lick his plate clean.

"Cook books actually," Hisoka told him, taking his partner's plate. He walked into the kitchen and started to clean up.

"Really, your parents never showed you how? I mean, I didn't realize you could learn to cook that well from a book," Tsuzuki said, grabbing a towel to dry the dishes Hisoka was washing.

"No, my parents didn't teach me anything useful," Hisoka replied.

"That bad huh?" Tsuzuki asked, noticing the harshness of the boy's tone.

"If you consider locking your son in the basement for an ability you don't understand nor want to even try to understand as bad, then yes," the boy said. He handed the last plate to Tsuzuki, then wiped down the counters.

Tsuzuki looked at his partner. Hisoka didn't seem angry. He seemed to have accepted what his past was filled with. Tsuzuki was sure there was something much worse than having been locked in a basement as a child, simmering under the surface. He wasn't going to pry though. He would just wait until either Hisoka told him about what else was there or he got his memory back.

When the dishes were done and the kitchen cleaned up, Hisoka yawned and said he was going to head to bed. Tsuzuki looked around, not seeing another door other than Hisoka's bedroom door and the one for the bathroom. So he figured he was sleeping on the sofa.

"No baka, you're sleeping in the bed with me. As you always do when you're here overnight," the teen told him, yawning again.

Tsuzuki smiled, for some reason, the thought of sleeping next to the boy made him really happy. He continued to grin as he changed for bed and slipped under the sheets next to his partner. He took a chance and wrapped his arms around Hisoka, who surprised him by pressing closer to him and whispering goodnight.


	4. Reaquainted

Tsuzuki woke up early the next morning when the sunlight hit him in the face. He looked down to see Hisoka's arm flung over him, with his head on Tsuzuki's chest, the sheets pooling around them both. He thought his partner was so beautiful sleeping. Like an angel.

_My angel_ he thought, as he rolled over.

He kissed Hisoka on the lips softly, smiling when the boy murmured sleepily. Trailing his lips over the boy's chin down to lick softly at the pulse throbbing in the slender neck, he looked up when he heard Hisoka let out a soft moan.

"Tsu," Hisoka mumbled.

Tsuzuki kept kissing Hisoka's neck, nuzzling against the boy's body as his fingers roamed. Slipping his hands underneath the boy's nightshirt he teased the warm skin. Hisoka wiggled as he slowly opened his eyes. Before Hisoka could say anything, Tsuzuki lifted his head and pressed his lips to his partner's.

"Nnnn," Hisoka muttered.

"Morning Soka," Tsuzuki said when he pulled away.

Hisoka was still partially asleep, but he kept staring at his partner. He didn't know what to do or say, so he just did the first thing he thought of. Wrapping his arms around his partner's neck, he pulled Tsuzuki's head down to kiss him.

Tsuzuki rolled them over so Hisoka was on top of him. Slipping his hands underneath the boy's nightshirt again, he pushed it up, looking at Hisoka to see if it was alright to pull it off. The boy nodded and lifted his arms to help remove the shirt. Leaning down, Hisoka nibbled on Tsuzuki's lower lip.

"Soka, should we be doing this?" Tsuzuki panted when Hisoka's mouth moved down to nibble and suck on his neck.

"I've wanted you for a long time. But I think we should wait," the teen murmured.

"Alright, but let me cuddle and kiss you for awhile longer," Tsuzuki told him. Hisoka looked up and smiled.

Tsuzuki pulled him into another kiss as he rolled them over. Hisoka moaned as Tsuzuki nibbled on his neck, arching up as his partner's hands caressed his arms. They were beginning to want more, so they pulled apart, Hisoka rolled to the side and just laid in Tsuzuki's arms.

Hisoka felt the guilty and shameful feelings coming of his partner. He looked at the man. Lifting his head, he placed a soft kiss on Tsuzuki's lips.

"It's not that I don't want more Tsu. It's just I would rather you have your memory back and be sure this is what you want. Not that you don't want to right now. I just think it's better to wait," Hisoka told him.

"I know. I am sorry if I pushed," Tsuzuki replied.

Hisoka shook his head. "No, you didn't push. I want you too. Really. Just... let's wait ok?" the boy told him.

Tsuzuki smiled and pulled him closer, kissing him again.

"Let's go to Chijou for breakfast ok?" Hisoka suggested.

"Sure," Tsuzuki answered, his eyes lighting up.

--

They had breakfast in a little cafe they liked. Tsuzuki seemed to remember how much he loved sweets, having ordered half the desserts on the menu. Hisoka just had tea and a croissant. He was laughing at how back to his normal self his partner seemed to be.

They went to the park after breakfast and just hung out, talking about things Tsuzuki couldn't remember. He'd ask questions and Hisoka would answer. They were having a good time when they heard the jingle of the ice cream man's bell.

Tsuzuki brightened and Hisoka said he would run to get them some ice cream. When Tsuzuki got up to follow him, Hisoka said it was alright, to just wait on the bench.

"Well hello my dear Tsuzuki-san," a silky voice drawled.

Tsuzuki looked up and saw a tall man dressed completely in white. Platinum hair covering one side of his face so only one silver eye was visible. Tsuzuki didn't know who the man was, though he seemed oddly familiar to him.

"Do I know you?" Tsuzuki asked.

Muraki blinked, taken aback by the question.

"Should I be hurt that you have forgotten who I am?" Muraki asked.

"Muraki! What are you doing here?" Hisoka said running up. The ice cream in his hands forgotten as he dropped the cones.

"I was just strolling by and I saw Tsuzuki-san sitting here," the doctor replied.

Hisoka glared.

"Tsu, let's go," the boy told his partner, holding out his hand. Tsuzuki stood up.

"I guess we should be going," Tsuzuki said, he looked at Muraki strangely.

"Bouya, come here," Muraki called out to Hisoka as he was dragging Tsuzuki away.

"What do you want?" Hisoka snapped, turning to look at the doctor.

"Why does he not know who I am?" the doctor asked.

"I got hit in the head and I can't remember anything," Tsuzuki supplied.

"Tsu, shut up, don't be telling people you have amnesia," Hisoka chastised.

"Sorry Soka," his partner said, hanging his head.

"Amnesia? Interesting," Muraki murmured.

"Stay away from my partner Muraki. Or you won't like what happens," Hisoka warned.

"Yes, yes bouya. Well, good day gentlemen," Muraki told them, walking away. He had a smirk on his face as an idea formed in his mind.

--

Hisoka teleported them back to his apartment. Once there Tsuzuki started asking questions about Muraki.

"Why did he seem to know me? Who is he?" he asked.

"He does know you. And you know him as well. He's a murderer and a psychopath," Hisoka told him.

"Really? He seemed so nice. He looks like an angel," Tsuzuki said.

"Yeah but I know better than that, so do you," Hisoka mumbled.

"What do you mean?" the older male questioned.

"Just stay away from him alright Tsu?" the boy said. Tsuzuki nodded.

The phone rang and Hisoka picked it up.

"Oh hello Tatsumi Sir," the boy said into the phone.

"Sure I can come right now, be there in about five minutes," Hisoka said, hanging up.

"Tatsumi needs to see me about a case we had a few weeks ago. Will you be alright here until I get back or do you want to come?" the boy asked.

"I'll stay here. I'll see you when you get back," Tsuzuki told him.

"Alright," Hisoka replied, teleported to the Ministry.

Tsuzuki waited a few minutes, then teleported to Chijou.


	5. Seed of Doubt

Tsuzuki appeared behind a tree in the same park him and Hisoka had me with Muraki earlier. Tsuzuki was curious about the man he didn't recognize, but somehow knew. Plus, Muraki seemed to know about him and Hisoka. And there were things Tsuzuki knew Hisoka wasn't telling him and he wanted to know what those things were.

"I see you came back Tsuzuki-san," Muraki said, sitting down on the bench next to the shinigami.

"Yes. I was hoping I could speak to you," Tsuzuki replied.

"About how I know you," Muraki stated.

Tsuzuki nodded. The man really was beautiful. Like Hisoka was beautiful. But Muraki was beautiful in a cold, untouchable way, whereas Hisoka was beautiful in a way that made you want to hold him and kiss him.

"How do you know me? Hisoka says you're a murderer and to stay away from you," the shinigami told the doctor.

"Yes, depends on how you look at things. Your partner would say something like that since he sees things in black and white only. He's very jealous," Muraki told him. The doctor was hoping that his plan would work. That he could take advantage of Tsuzuki's memory loss and win the man over from that boy.

"Jealous of what?" Tsuzuki asked curiously, tilting his head.

"He didn't tell you about you and I?" Muraki asked. Tsuzuki shook his head. "We're together. The bouya is very jealous of our relationship. He insists you are in love with him."

"W-what? You're saying Hisoka and I aren't... but you and I are?" Tsuzuki was shocked. Why would Hisoka lie?

_I'm in love with you, but I haven't ever told you. Same goes for you. Though you tell me you love me everyday, you haven't really come out and told me. But I feel it from you,_ Hisoka had told him.

Did that mean what Muraki was saying was true? That Hisoka hadn't told him the truth and had made something up taking advantage of his amnesia? Would the boy do something like that? Inside, Tsuzuki wanted to believe Hisoka wouldn't lie to him. But he didn't know anything right now. He couldn't even remember who he was let alone know if his partner was lying to him.

"I told you Tsuzuki. The bouya is jealous. He has a lot of emotional issues from his mortal life," Muraki explained with sincerity.

Oh this was going so well. He had Tsuzuki hanging off his every word. It wouldn't be long until he got what he wanted. Though what to do if the kid showed up again? Perhaps, he could twist Tsuzuki around so much, that he would take care of the bouya for him. That would work pretty well.

"So you and I are a couple?" Tsuzuki asked.

"You could say that. It's been difficult with that partner of yours always slinking around," Muraki told him.

_This is going better than I expected,_ Muraki thought.

"I better go. Hisoka will be back soon," Tsuzuki said standing up.

Muraki stood up as well, leaning in to kiss Tsuzuki on the lips. The kiss was cold, and demanding. Tsuzuki pulled back. It wasn't the hot, sweet kiss Hisoka gave. Muraki's kiss told of things that Tsuzuki didn't want to feel. Possession and power, coldness and demands. Hisoka's kisses were so full of wanting and needing, passion and love.

"Alright. Would you like to meet for dinner?" the doctor asked.

Muraki was doing his best to act nice and sweet. If he wanted Tsuzuki, he had behave better than that kid that was always interfering with everything. He really wanted Tsuzuki. More than he'd ever wanted Hisoka or anyone else, including Oriya.

"Uh, tomorrow night," Tsuzuki replied. Muraki nodded, "Meet here at seven p.m."

_Who was telling the truth?_ Tsuzuki asked himself, as he teleported to Hisoka's apartment.

--

"Where were you?" Hisoka asked as soon as Tsuzuki popped into his living room.

"Chijou," Tsuzuki answered. No need to lie.

"Why did you go down there again?" the boy asked, his green eyes narrowing.

"I needed to find out some things," the man answered. Hisoka's green eyes met Tsuzuki's purple eyes.

"From Muraki right? After I told you to stay away from him, you went back to talk to him?" Hisoka was nearly yelling.

"There are things I felt he could answer. Things you don't talk to me about," Tsuzuki replied.

"You only had to ask! I would tell you anything," Hisoka answered.

"Why do you hate him so much?" Tsuzuki asked.

"Because of what he's done. To me, to you, to others," the boy said.

"And what is that?" the older shinigami questioned.

"I don't want to talk about it. I don't like remembering it," Hisoka told him bitterly.

"Muraki told me you're jealous," Tsuzuki stated bluntly.

"Jealous? Jealous of what?" Hisoka snorted.

"Of him and I," Tsuzuki decided to just come right out with everything him and the doctor had discussed.

"There is no you and him. He's a psychopath. Stay away from him Tsu," Hisoka told him.

"Hisoka, why won't you just tell me the truth?" Tsuzuki asked.

"I told you, I don't want to discuss it! Just drop it," Hisoka shouted.

Tsuzuki was shocked really, since he'd seen the boy be nothing but calm and nice to him. To have him suddenly react angrily, was surprising for Tsuzuki.

_Maybe Muraki was right about Hisoka having emotional issues,_ he thought.

Tsuzuki looked at his partner. The boy was shaking in anger.

"Hisoka," he said.

"Drop it Tsu. I don't want to talk about this anymore. Stay away from Muraki alright?" Hisoka told him.

"Sure, I'm going to bed," Tsuzuki said, walking into the bedroom and changing quickly, he slipped under the covers, rolling on his side when Hisoka came in and did the same. When Hisoka wrapped his arms about him, he tried not to pull away. He didn't want to upset his partner any more than he already had.

"Tsu, I'm sorry I yelled at you," Hisoka whispered.

"I'm sorry I pushed. There's so much I don't remember and you know things that I want to know," he replied.

"I'll tell you whatever you want to know. But I really don't want to talk about Muraki or my past," the boy told him.

"Alright Hisoka. Let's just go to sleep," Tsuzuki suggested. Closing his eyes, he tried to ignore the hurt and mistrustful feeling creeping into his heart.


	6. Eclipse

The morning after the argument had Hisoka acting as though nothing had ever happened the night before. Tsuzuki was now convinced that everything Muraki had told him was true. He awoke to Hisoka kissing him and he tried to figure out a way to pull away from the boy without upsetting him.

"Hisoka, we need to stop please," Tsuzuki said.

"You don't want to? The other morning..." Hisoka asked, pulling away.

"I... I don't know what I want anymore Hisoka. I was so sure it was you, but then Muraki..." Tsuzuki broke off as he watched Hisoka's green eyes widen with anger.

"Muraki? You don't want me because you believe what he told you is that it?" Hisoka yelled as he jumped out of the bed.

He stood glaring at Tsuzuki. Fists balled up, tears about to fall. He was shaking and Tsuzuki didn't know what to do to calm him down.

"I don't know! I don't know who is telling me the truth dammit!" Tsuzuki yelled back.

"I am dammit! I don't ever lie to you!" Hisoka screamed.

"What did he do to you Hisoka? Why won't you tell me what I need to know?" Tsuzuki asked. He'd lowered his voice in hopes of getting the boy to calm down and maybe tell him what wanted to know. Needed to know.

"He raped me! Then cursed me to die. Is that what you want to know? Go to him! I don't care what you do! I didn't want to tell you again and have you look at me with pity!" Hisoka screamed, his tears escaping to travel down his cheeks.

Tsuzuki was shocked. He hadn't thought it would be that bad. He didn't know if he had ever looked at his partner the way Hisoka just said. He didn't know anything. Just that his partner was now running out of the apartment. He tried to run after him but Hisoka disappeared.

--

Hisoka was still crying as he teleported himself to Chijou. To his favorite park. Not realizing that Tsuzuki had tried to follow him. He ran to a tree and slammed his fist in the bark, pounding on it for everything he felt was unfair.

His partner probably hated him now. Knowing how defiled and used he was. He had hoped, while Tsuzuki had amnesia they could get over the fact he'd been raped. It had a useless hope, he knew, but something inside him had wished for it anyway.

Then he wouldn't feel ashamed to have his partner touch him when the man regained his memory. He would have gotten behind the glances his partner threw at him that he felt were pity and sympathy. What Hisoka didn't realize was that those looks Tsuzuki threw his way were looks of wanting and love. He wanted the boy no matter what had happened to him.

"Hello bouya," Muraki said behind him.

"Go away you bastard!" Hisoka snapped.

"I apologize bouya, but you know I can't do that. You are going to help me get Tsuzuki," Muraki told him, grabbing Hisoka by the arm.

"Let me go!" the boy yelled.

No one heard him as the park was empty. He didn't even know why Muraki was there this early. He figured the man had probably been watching him and Tsuzuki, because he showed up everytime they were in this place.

"I told you no bouya so just hush up. I need you to get Tsuzuki. Of course, he won't know I have you," Muraki said.

"You're a psychopath!" Hisoka shouted.

Muraki stopped in his tracks, turned around and backhanded Hisoka. The boy swayed and would have fallen if Muraki hadn't been holding onto his arm. The doctor resumed his walking, puling Hisoka behind him. The boy touched his stinging cheek.

_Tsuzuki,_ he thought, _please find me._

_--_

Tsuzuki went looking everywhere for Hisoka. It was almost ten p.m. when he went back to the apartment. The next morning, Tsuzuki teleported down to Chijou to the park Hisoka had taken him to two days earlier. Where he'd met Muraki.

Sitting on the park bench, his vision was obstructed by a flash of white as the doctor gracefull sat down next to him. He looked up to see the man staring at him with that one silver eye. The other eye being covered up by his platinum hair.

"Good morning Tsuzuki," Muraki said cheerfully.

"Morning," Tsuzuki replied. He sighed heavily.

"Is something wrong Tsuzuki?" the doctor asked.

"Hisoka and I had an argument. He ran off and I can't find him," Tsuzuki told him.

_Why am I talking to this man if he raped and killed my partner?_ the shinigami thought.

_Maybe he knows where Hisoka went, _He told himself.

"What did you argue about?" Muraki asked casually.

"You. He told me you raped and murdered him with a curse," Tsuzuki replied.

"Yes I did. But I have tried to make up for it. Though, you can't really make up for something like that. I was a very unstable man back then. I even offered to remove the curse from him. He refused," Muraki explained.

"He said there wasn't any you and I," Tsuzuki answered.

"He's jealous. There has always been a you and I. What there has never been is a you and him," the doctor told him.

"I don't know who to believe," Tsuzuki whispered.

"Come home with me, and decide for yourself. I won't make you do anything you don't want to," Muraki offered.

Tsuzuki thought about that. Standing up, he nodded. He would find out who was telling him the truth. And while he was at it, he would find Hisoka as well.

Muraki smiled, then stood up. The two men walked out of the park to Muraki's car. Getting in, Muraki smirked in triumph. His plan was working so well. Tsuzuki would be his and he would never find Hisoka. Not where the doctor had him hidden away.


	7. Possession

This chapter is dedicated to Eiri and Kurama lover07. Because I wasn't planning to update until Friday, when I went to get my hair trimed.

--

Muraki left Tsuzuki shortly after breakfast three days later. He said he would call out from work, but Tsuzuki told him there was no need. He wasn't going anywhere. So, the doctor just went to call in that he would be a bit late. Tsuzuki had been at Muraki's for that long and during the day, would look for Hisoka. Tatsumi hadn't seen the boy. But told Tsuzuki that Hisoka had called in saying he would be out for a couple days.

Wandering around the fancy decorated living room, Tsuzuki thought of Hisoka's nice and comfy living room and he was hit with a pain in his heart. He really missed his partner. But he couldn't leave Muraki's home for fear of being rude to a man he felt he didn't know. All he had to go on was what Hisoka had told him about the doctor.

"My apologies Tsuzuki, but I really must be on my way to the hospital. You're free to stay here. Sakaki has arranged one of the guest rooms for you to stay in. I will be back by nightfall," Muraki said as he walked into the living room, his white coat hanging over his arm.

"Perhaps I should go home or look for Hisoka," Tsuzuki said.

Muraki's eye glinted and Tsuzuki looked away.

"It would please me if you would stay until I returned home," Muraki told him.

Tsuzuki nodded his head. He really didn't think this man was someone to get angry. After Muraki left, The little servant Sakaki showed up to take Tsuzuki to the guest room he would be staying in. The shinigami decided to take a nap then he would go look for his partner again. If he didn't find him by dusk, he would ask Tatsumi where Hisoka could have gone.

--

Tsuzuki woke up when he felt something warm and wet against his neck. He thought maybe it was Hisoka, so he opened his purple eyes only to see a head of platinum hair kissing and licking his neck. He tried to sit up, but Muraki was laying halfway on top of him, his body pinned to the bed by the other mans.

"Don't," Tsuzuki whispered when Muraki's hands moved to his waistband.

"Ah Tsuzuki, you know it's not as though you and I haven't been working up to this," the doctor drawled.

"No, I don't remember if we have been or not. But I am not going to do this with you while Hisoka is missing," Tsuzuki told him.

"Muraki leaned up and rolled off him, climbing off the bed.

"It always comes back to the bouya doesn't it?" Muraki asked.

"He's my partner. He cares about me and I care about him. In fact, I believe what he told me. I love him," Tsuzuki replied, looking away from the steely gaze.

"Nothing I've done or tried has made you mine. But your partner isn't coming back," Muraki said sinisterly.

Tsuzuki looked back sharply. Amethyst eyes narrowing as he climbed off the bed and faced Muraki.

"What do you mean by that? Where is Hisoka?" he demanded.

"You know, I've tried everything. And all you do, it think about that kid. I finally decided, to get rid of him. And here you are, still thinking about him," Muraki said, he had a smirk on his face.

Tsuzuki glared at him, his hands clenched into fists.

"Where is he?" Tsuzuki demanded again.

"Somewhere that he won't get in the way," the doctor told him.

"So everything you said, was a lie? Hisoka was the one telling the truth," Tsuzuki said.

Tsuzuki felt really sick. He'd doubted his partner because he couldn't remember anything. Muraki walked over to him, closing the distance between them and wrapped his arms around him. Tsuzuki felt a sting in his arm and looked up.

The doctor had a syringe in his hand and he was wearing a wicked grin on his pale face. Tsuzuki was, for once, afraid of the man since he'd lost his memory. And he thought, this was what Hisoka had been trying to warn him about.

_I'm sorry Soka_, he thought as he passed out. Muraki deftly catching him.

--

When he woke up, he was slumped against a wall in a basement. He heard a raspy voice breathing in and out. Turning his head, he saw a figure tied to a bed in the corner of the room. He didn't want to think it was his partner, but when he heard the soft moan, he knew that it was.

Getting up, he swayed on his feet. Whatever Muraki had given him made him dizzy. He slowly made his way to the bed. Hisoka was undressed and his arms and legs were bound to the head and foot boards of the bed. He was bleeding from whatever was binding him.

Hisoka also had something smeared between his legs and on the sheet beneath him. Tsuzuki felt sick. He wanted to hurt Muraki. But first he had to get them both out of the basement and get Hisoka to the infirmary.

"Hisoka, can you hear me?" he asked, leaning down close to the boy's face.

"No more, please," Hisoka whimpered. Tsuzuki began crying. This was his fault. He should have trusted his partner.

"Baby, it's me, Tsu, please," Tsuzuki pleaded, wiping the boy's bangs from his forehead.

"T-Tsu," Hisoka whispered, opening his eyes. He started crying and tugging at the restraints on his arms and legs, which only made him bleed more.

Tsuzuki went to find something to cut the binds off telling Hisoka he'd be right back. He found a rusty pair of clippers and figured they would work. He had to slice several times before the binds would cut. But once free, Hisoka threw himself at his partner.

"Tsu! I'm sorry! I didn't lie to you. I didn't mean to get so mad," Hisoka cried.

"I know baby, I know. We need to get out of here," Tsuzuki said.

"Oh the bouya isn't going anywhere. I haven't finished having my fun with him. And as for you, you're staying as well," Muraki said casually from the stairway.


	8. Remember

Tsuzuki was excited. Muraki was coming home early to take him to dinner. It had been a month since his accident and he still couldn't remember anything from the time before. All he could remember was what Muraki had told him about their life together.

According to the doctor, Tsuzuki had left a bad work relationship to be with him. He had been a shinigami, but hadn't liked it at all and had wanted a way out. Muraki gave him that. Taking him in and letting them get to know each together.

Apparently, the partner Tsuzuki had before his accident had died after they had fought over Tsuzuki speaking with the doctor and wanting to quit being a shinigami. Tsuzuki could hardly remember the partner's name. It was Hisoka something.

He didn't really mind not remembering anything previously. He was very happy with his life as it was right now. Though, something kept bothering him. He did remember a teenage boy in his dreams. A boy with the greenest eyes holding a hand out to him, trying to get him to come to him.

Those dreams made Tsuzuki wake up at night shaking, drenched in sweat. Muraki hadn't made any moves on him, but Tsuzuki was planning on asking why he hadn't at dinner that night. He heard a noise as he usually did when he was in the laundry area off the kitchen.

He'd asked Muraki about it, and the doctor told him it was an old house and the foundation was probably just settling. Sakaki, the little servant that worked for the doctor refused to comment on the noises so Tsuzuki let it be.

--

"Are we going soon Muraki?" Tsuzuki asked, he was fiddling with his tie for the suit Muraki had suggested he wear.

"Yes my love, we're going as soon as I make this one phone call," Muraki replied, grabbing the tie and fixing it for Tsuzuki.

He kissed the amethyst eyed on man on the cheek but nothing further. Tsuzuki felt chilled, but brushed it off. He didn't understand why he knew Muraki's kiss was different than kisses he'd had before. He didn't know why he knew anything other than his life right now.

"What? Why is that everytime I have plans the hospital goes into crisis mode?" Muraki snapped, clearly annoyed. His gray eye'd gaze flicked to Tsuzuki, who slumped into a chair in the corner.

He was used to this. They never went out because a doctor was very busy and always on call. Especially one of Muraki's stature. Standing up, he yanked on his tie as he heard the doctor say,

"Fine, I'll be there in twenty minutes," then slammed the phone down.

"My apologies dearest, but you know a doctor's life..." Muraki was cut off by Tsuzuki.

"... is very busy," Tsuzuki finished.

Muraki chuckled in his rich deep voice, that frightened Tsuzuki as he recalled another voice laughing. A soft, sweet, almost angelic voice, that made you want to laugh as well. Shaking his head, he brushed that thought away like every other thought he'd had that something here was wrong.

"I'll make it up to you this weekend," Muraki said to him as he grabbed his white coat and left the house.

--

Tsuzuki woke up from his dream shaking as usual. He recalled the kid's name in his dream this time. Hisoka. Hisoka Kurosaki. They had been partners. Muraki... the blood drained from Tsuzuki's face and he swallowed, feeling bile rise up in his throat.

He remembered. Everything, all of it. Hisoka wasn't dead, he was alive. In this very house. At least, Tsuzuki hoped he was still alive. That Muraki hadn't done anything more to the boy.

_Oh Hisoka, I'm sorry! Please forgive me, I'm coming,_ he said to himself.

--

When was the last time he'd eaten, he thought. He tried to remember but he was so weak his mind was hazy and filled with images of amethysts and chocolate.

Tsuzuki.

Hisoka remembered. He had a partner. Who he had loved. Who had loved him back. Until Muraki took him away. Like he took everything away. And nothing Hisoka did could stop the man from doing it. Where was Tsuzuki now? Did he forget him too?

_I love you Tsuzuki,_ Hisoka told himself.

--

He had to pick the lock to the basement. Muraki had locked it and there wasn't a key that he could find to fit the lock. Meaning Muraki had the correct key. Tsuzuki pushed the door open. Making sure to close it again and not turn on the light.

He had a flashlight, just in case the doctor came home or Sakaki woke up. He couldn't risk being caught. He had to find Hisoka. He just hoped the boy was alright and that he would forgive him. Carefully walking down the staircase, he turned on the flashlight and moved downwards.

He reached the bottom of the stairs and waved the flashlight around. He saw a bed in the corner with something or someone on top of it. The figure wasn't moving but it was breathing. Soft puffs of breath were coming out of the small mouth in the cold air of the basement.

"Hisoka," Tsuzuki whispered as he rushed over to the bed.

Hisoka was thin, with his skin stretching over his bones like parchment. His hair was dirty, his skin cut up with dried blood. No visible wounds that Tsuzuki could see. He was grateful for that. His eyes flew open when Tsuzuki whispered his name again, revealing glassy emerald eyes. Tsuzuki dropped the flashlight and lifted his partner up.

"Tsu-zuki," Hisoka coughed, "I knew you... would come."

"I'm sorry Hisoka. I'm sorry. I'm taking you to Watari. Please hang in there," Tsuzuki whispered, tears falling from his eyes as he teleported them both out of the basement.


	9. The Only Ones

Hisoka was suffering from starvation and hypothermia. He also had lost a lot of blood. Watari didn't know if he would make it. Tsuzuki was called into Tatsumi's office to let them know what had happened over the past month of the two being gone.

"Muraki did something to me. To make me forget who Hisoka was. I guess since I had already had some memory loss, it wasn't too hard to make me forget. Hisoka could die because of me," Tsuzuki said, hanging his head.

"He won't die Tsuzuki. We may need you to go and take care of Muraki. I will go with you. Thing is, it's not because of what he did to you two. It's due to him killing again. He raped another thirteen year old boy and killed him and his parents. Enma wants him gone, and he wants you to do it," Tatsumi explained.

"I'm not leaving my partner. When he's well, I'll do whatever to make that man pay," Tsuzuki said as Watari walked in.

"What's the prognosis Watari?" Tatsumi asked.

"Signs of abuse, rape. He's very dehydrated. I've put him on an I.V. He should recover though. I'm not sure how he'll be though. He is awake though," Watari told them.

"That bastard raped him again?" Tatsumi demanded.

"Yes and cut him up like a steak," Watari said.

"Tortured him is more like it. I'm going to kill that son of a bitch!" Tsuzuki said, running from the room to the infirmary.

--

Teleporting to the house Muraki and he had lived at, Tsuzuki let himself in. He was glad Muraki wasn't home. Tsuzuki made sure that the basement door was locked again and it didn't look like anyone had been down inside it forever.

He sat in the living waiting for Muraki to come home. He didn't have too long of a wait as the doctor let himself into the house an hour later. Tossing his coat onto the coat rack and taking off his shoes, he walked into the living room where Tsuzuki was waiting for him.

"Tsuzuki, my love, why are you sitting in the dark?" Muraki asked, setting down the mail on a table.

"Don't give me that _my love_ crap! You raped Hisoka again you bastard! You made me forget him... you made me think we were in love. I could never love you!" Tsuzuki shouted, lunging at the doctor.

"Come now Tsuzuki, I didn't make you believe anything you didn't already wish to, and as for the bouya, I've had him before, he's mine and always will belong to me. I didn't technically rape him as he is my property," Muraki sneered.

"He is not yours! He will never be yours and neither will I!" Tsuzuku spat, pushing the doctor up against the fireplace.

"Tsk now, you are taking this so personally. What's a little boy like him going to give to a man like you? You need a man like me to show you true pleasure and pain. With him, you won't..." Muraki stopped as Tsuzuki punched him in the face.

Blood trickled out of the side of the man's mouth, but Tsuzuki kept pounding on the man. He was suddenly pulled off and Muraki slumped to the floor in front of the fireplace, gasping for breath.

"Tsu, please," Hisoka said, he was held in Watari's arms.

"Tatsumi, why did you bring him here?" Tsuzuki asked, shrugging out of Tatsumi's hold.

"He said he would come here with or without our help. So we brought him here," Tatsumi explained.

"Hisoka, this man... this man did all this to you and oh Soka, please forgive me. You told me the truth from the beginning and I believed him over you. Please I'm sorry!" Tsuzuki wept.

"I... love you so much... please don't cry. Please come home with me and we can start all over. He doesn't matter. He never did. Only we do. Only we matter. I love you, come with me," Hisoka pleaded as Watari put him down and he struggled to walk to Tsuzuki.

"I love you too baby. I'll go anywhere with you," Tsuzuki said, catching hold of Hisoka and teleporting to the boy's apartment.

"Sickening those two. Sentimental bullshit," Muraki spat out, blood still trickling from his mouth.

"You may find this sickening, but after everything that you have done to them both, I am glad to see that they still have one another to love and trust," Tatsumi said.

Watari walked over to the doctor, slapped the doctor across the face, "I just had to do something," the scientist said, smirking.

Tatsumi called up his shadows and the covered Muraki, tightening their hold, the suffocated the man until he could no longer breathe.

--

"You really forgive me Soka?" Tsuzuki asked up in Meifu.

"Nothing to forgive. Just promise to always trust me. As I will always trust you," Hisoka said, he was laying in bed, eating chicken soup and drinking juice. He still had a long way to go before recovering but both knew he would be alright.

They had each other and that was all that mattered, as Hisoka had said at Muraki's, only they mattered.


End file.
